2020-01- | Reflectionday as always – especially this rainy day. I just have to accept this. It´s a part of me. And my body and brain is going to be with me for a long time I hope, so I have to be friend with them both. I want to share an ”Opening up” and ”Hitting myself down” experience. For some of you this is old news and for others this might give some new light to the subject.
When you start opening up to someone about a challenge you have, a really personal challenge or a behavior you want to look closer at, maybe even adjust or change it. You are vurnerable. You are a scared little child inside. Scared to ge regected, scared to hear a truth, scared of how it will all sound when it comes out of your mouth.
Being the reciever of this opening soul… Is very easy to give advice (I do it ALL the time), from your own experience and perspective, cause that is all you know. How else can you have this conversation? Suggestions?
The feedback can easily become a truth making it a heavy stone inside for a long time. Let´s see if we can find some helping set of questions for it to just last a few hours.
I try to understand myself in all this. How do I get out of the uncomfortable feeling from the feedback? How do I learn? How do I not make this the whole truth and nothing but the truth? I ask myself some questions:What did this person really say of what you heard?
What was really true – for you – what the other one said?
hat experience does the other one have with this challenge with you?
What did you say to make the other person understand the challenge? Where you clear. The person probably filled in the blancs you didn´t say.
Have you heard this from others? Or do you recognize simular situations?
Can it be a combination of things happening with this person that triggers the challenge?
So, the conclusion after answering all those questions.
You can react like this and that is great to know. Feelings are good! You need them. You do it because of certaine chain happenings (notice them). And make a last decision – Do you want to change, adjust and be conscious about it to make a new choice next time it happens?
A new day, a new thought, a new beginning – every day. YOU are great!